How was your week? I know mine was challenging! I found that I wasn’t as nagging as normal, and that I was actively trying to limit how much I asked Joel to do, but I know I still have a bit to go. This week was hard in other sense though, and I feel like this next challenge is something that may take me more than a week to really try and work out. One thing about me that you may not know is I am a sensitive person. I think this really stems from my anxiety and the feeling of needing to do everything right the first time. This causes me a lot of the time to take on how other people are feeling and give myself fault for that. If that doesn’t make sense I will explain it better. If someone I know and care about is feeling angry about something, I will take on that anger and somehow manipulate it in my mind to make it about me. This is so hard for me not to do, but it also weighs me down SO much! Can you imagine if you were on a hiking trip, and your backpack was full of rocks symbolizing all your feelings, happy, sad, angry etc. and you decide to offer to carry everyone else’s backpack on the trip, and all their rocks, but somehow feel like they are weighing you down on purpose, even though you offered? It’s ridiculous. Separating your own emotions from others is a crucial thing to happiness. We can never control someone else, and we can never win their own personal battles. No one can make them happy but themselves, just like no one can make you happy but yourself. I know I have had experiences with people in my life that feel like they are distancing themselves from me, but being able to step outside of the situation and realize that they have their own things they are working on and I can’t take that on is so important! So how do we do it?
Week 6 Challenge!
Set Emotional Boundaries
Challenge: Your challenge this week is to set emotional boundaries for yourself. When a situation arises where you feel like you are taking on other people’s emotions take a moment to breathe. Think first of the situation through your own eyes (you will most likely do this automatically anyway). What are your thoughts telling you? That it is your fault they are feeling this way? Take note of all the things that go through your head, and if you have the opportunity, write those down. Once you have had all those thoughts bounce around your head, give yourself back the power! Take a look at the situation as if you were an outside person looking in. Is that person dealing with other things? Does that person have insecurities? Try to see the situation through their perspective (even if you don’t want to). If you are me, you most likely will still feel like it is you that has caused this. Now that you have some reasoning on their level, put up your personal barrier. This barrier is just a way of thinking that others’ emotions can’t break through, and only you and your emotions live behind the barrier. Once you have put yourself if that mindset, see if you can ask the person why they are feeling the way they do, if they have stress in their life they need to talk through, etc. Most of the time, it probably is something else in their life. If you can have a mature conversation about it without making yourself the victim of the situation, you might be surprised with what they have to say. Keep your barrier up in this conversation, don’t let their emotions step on to your land. Keep your power!
Happy Action: Smile at yourself in the mirror!
Weekly Inspiration: “Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Remember to #happyovercrappy with posts from your week! Good luck and get happy!